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Splatter Farm 1987
Description: Two young twins are sent to spend time at their aunt's farm. What nobody knows is that the aunt's handyman is a psycho serial assassin who dismembers his victims and shops their body parts in the barn.
Released: 24 Mar 1987 Director: John Polonia, Mark Polonia, Todd Michael Smith Writers: John Polonia, Mark Polonia, Todd Michael Smith Actors: Todd Michael Smith, John Polonia, Mark Polonia, Jeff Seddon Genres: Horror
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Splatter Farm Reviews:

I'll admit - in cute much each conceivable way, SPLATER FARM cute much sucks dick. The acting is horrible, the gore is very amateurish, the technical aspects of the movie (camera-work, lighting, editing, etc...) are non-existent - but to me, this is one of those movies where the entire is MUCH better than the sum of it's parts.The plot revolves around twin brothers (who look like half-retarded Ralph Macchio look-alikes) who are on their method to their aunt's house for vacation. She's an old-bag that has a thing for one of the twins, which is alluded to from the get-go. She has a man that she keeps around to do the work on the farm, and who also brings folks into the barn to cheat up and masturbate with their body parts. The twins notice something amiss with the farm-worker (even without seeing him jacking-off with severed arms and whatnot...) and they start to suspect that something is up...There's so much wrong with SPLATTER FARM that I don't even know where to begin. Where it makes up for it's insane ineptitude, is in the fact that it really is quite funny, and a bit more original and thought-out than what the $7 budget would dictate. The gore scenes, though cheap, are effective for the most part, and there are a several truly decent "gross-out" moments (anal-fisting, anyone?). The story even has an effective "twist" in the plot that now works. The dialog is stupid but often hilarious and I just got caught up in the super-cheap vibe of the film. It now reminded me a bit of Jorg Buttgereit's NEKROMANTIK (in terms of style, not content) but without any of J.B.'s artistry. A very strange tiny movie - I'd recommend it to those that dig low-budget splatter. King knows I've seen worse by more (supposedly) "talented" directors. Just watch SPLATTER FARM and then anything by Andreas Schnaas back-to-back and I think you'll see what I mean...8.5/10


I'll skip the analysis and receive right to the necessary stuff. Here are some of the scenes included in the 1987 no-budget home video classic "Splatter Farm." (1) A 19 year old man having sex with a 65 year old woman. (2) A boy crapping out a knife. (3) A man performing fellatio on himself with a severed head. (4)gay rape. (5) the human consumption of feces. Need I tell more? The only thing that limits this film from being the most shocking of all time is it's lousy direction and movie stock. Granted, the concepts are nothing short of nauseatingly disgusting, however they just don't look real, which is obviously the effect of an extremely weak budget. Bottom line: Cheap White Trash Gore at it's best. Just rent it....when you're drunk perhaps. Have a nice laugh, or vomit.


I have been watching obscure horror films for years and years. I have seen many of the unknown classics, like WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE, BLOODBATH IN PSYCHO TOWN, and HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE. But NO movie--no matter how crazy, no matter how sick, or no matter how deranged--could've possibly prepared me for the Polonia Brothers' SPLATTER FARM.Take it from me: you have never seen anything like this movie, and you never ever will. No another production should possibly be more nauseating, more shocking, and more badly-produced than this one. Also, no another production should possibly be cheaper, as SPLATTER FARM has absolutely NO budget (And when I tell "no budget", I mean just that... Not $20000, not $1000, not even $200... But ZERO DOLLARS!).So what exactly is this home-made, shot-on-video masterpiece about? Well, it's difficult to tell exactly, but I'll give it a go: teenage twins Joseph and Alan go to stay with their lonely (and really, really old) Aunt Lacy, who aside from having necrophilic tendencies with her deceased husband, lusts after her nephew Alan. During their visit, they notice their Aunt's perverted homosexual groundskeeper (Jeremy, played brilliantly by Todd Rimatti) has been exhibiting some rather strange behavior. It seems Jeremy has a terrible habit of killing the townsfolk, dismembering them, and storing their body parts in his barn to test for sexual gratification soon on. The men are unable to receive ahold of anybody on the outside, and actually feel that their lives are in danger, so they start to take charge of the situation. And that's when it really, REALLLLLY gets ugly.Does it sound f'ed up? Well, lemme say ya: I can't even BEGIN to emphasize just how f'ed up this film is, and just how sickeningly far it goes. In fact, I was so awestruck by this tiny detail that I later grew an unhealthy obsession with it. I did as much research as I should on this tiny obscurity and gathered up each scrap of notification I should find. But, for the most part, its production, its actors, and how it somehow got made and distributed in the first zone are still a nagging enigma to me. I have watched it few times with numerous people, all of whom were speechless and appalled as the storyline unfolded. One of my friends, Paul, has also fallen in angry love with SPLATTER FARM and has written a review on this web website as well. Because of this film I have developed a deep appreciation for the Polonia Brothers and their many bizarre films. I would love to meet them some day, for I am sure they are the sole reason I exist.PLEASE SEEK OUT AND WATCH THIS MOVIE. You might not like it (in fact, I'm cute sure you won't), but you WILL be entertained by it, and it will indeed shock the living hell out of you. And, as I stated earlier, you will never see anything like it for the rest of your meaningless, pitiful existence. Believe me.



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