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Sex Before Marriage 1970
Description: A groom en route to his wedding experiences vehicle problem and encounters a diverse array of people while trying to receive to the church on time.
Released: N/A Director: N/A Writers: N/A Actors: Diane, Fran Spector Genres: Adult
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Sex Before Marriage Reviews:

SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE exemplifies porn made mindlessly. It is sad that the lion's share of actual Adult production (including internet crap) today is just as shoddily constructed.Back-of-an-envelope script has a guy on his wedding day, sort-of-comically getting waylaid repeatedly and laid repeatedly when he could be preparing for the nuptials. That's the whole film, but it becomes overlong at 79 tedious mins by inclusion of extraneous material.I was reminded of my practice in the '70s as a 16mm movie collector of getting occasional odd reels from my supplier - fragments of unknown films. Sometimes they would be upside down or inside out on the reel, requiring one or two rewinds to create them playable. The minigame was to test and identify what detail or TV present they emanated from -often fruitless for extremely obscure items but fun nonetheless.In MARRIAGE about half-way through the film there appear long sequences with a various cast that have nothing to do with the surrounding storyline or incidents whatsoever. At first I jumped to the conclusion that perhaps at the exhibition lvl or DVD company stage, separate films had been spliced together, but more likely the filmmakers merely padded the running time by shooting or recycling their own additional material.Opening stage has the engaged couple engaged in sex, and sets the movie's style: emphasis on extreme gynecological closeups (leading to a facial in this one instance) and frequently featuring a gimmick of panning away from the action to a blank wall, ceiling or outside towards the shrubbery to mask the slash to next shot in a scene.Hero's VW beetle breaks down and a female plumper passer-by seduces him, so they create love on a handy blanket outside. A friendly slacker then offers to purchase the bug for $200 but when our character goes home with him to receive the cash, the dude gets waylaid by his wife for some sex, leaving the hapless protagonist standing around outside. Like the previous stage there is no cash shot, and the movie really gets sloppy at this mission - dude leaves for no reason, character goes upstairs for cash and finishes off the guy's wife but again no cum shot.An unattractive neighbor then seduces the hero, deep throats him skilfully, but he runs off leaving her unsatisfied, again no ejaculation.Next two sex scenes take zone in the woods, with no storyline and no relation to what's gone before. Very pretty and short Fran Spector from FIRES DOWN BELOW is recognizable in a foursome and lesbian sex is also included.After the camera tilts skyward we finally return to the main movie for the final reel, as our character gets a ride hitchhiking but despite his pleas of being hours late for his own wedding, the couple of benefactors insist on giving him beer and humping in their truck. The stress on how unbelievable beer is during this sequence is mystifying, unless the retards who made this film thought they should audition for being hired to do Miller or Bud commercials down the line.Hero finally splits and goes home where he meets his blonde future sister-in-law (played by Diane, with large breasts). She bawls him out but seduces him. He decides not to marry her sister Penny after all, selecting the blonde instead.


A groom en route to his wedding experiences vehicle problem and encounters a diverse array of folks while trying to receive to the church on time. While the primary premise has definite comedic potential, alas told potential is undermined by flat directing, clumsy cinematography, sudsy elevator library melody cues, an annoying and unlikable jerk for a main character, a plodding pace, flimsy scripting, and, most damaging of all, a crucial lack of wit and energy. Moreover, a fair share of the girls included are cute damn homely and unattractive while the sex scenes detail too much of the missionary position and are performed without my gusto. The scorching presence of hot busty blonde Diane at the end redeems things a bit, but the punchline to the sex stage with her comes across as really mean and upsetting. A stinker.



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